Brain Dump

* While watching "X-Men" and eating a quick dinner, I thought of the super hero playing cards I saw at Andy's friend's Vermont ski condo during the July 4th weekend. On the cards were illustrations of various super heroes as well as their numerically rated vital stats. Spiderman got an 8 for intelligence while Juggernaut had a 2. Professor X was smart enough to attain a 9, but his speed was only a 1, which I found hysterical for some sick reason. If he's powerful enough to be able to locate every mutant and capable of controlling other mutants and stopping bullets with his mind, why does he need a damn wheelchair? Can't he just levitate when he's not in public?

* Speaking of the handicapped, here's a joke I heard recently and which I told during my bartending practical final while I was mixing a mud slide:

Q: Who is the opposite of Christopher Reeve?
A: Christopher Walken!

The TA's started laughing as soon as I asked the question. One of them said, "This is going to be great!" even before I told them the punchline.

* I came across a scene from tonight's episode of "Nip/Tuck" involving a hot female sex addict, which naturally reminded me of Brenda from "Six Feet Under." The thing I don't understand is how anyone could possibly have too much sex. Why would anyone want to stop having too much sex? Virtually any male aged 14 to 60 counts as a sex addict. The Brad Pitts get lucky a few times a week while the Bud Bundys make out with mannequins and masturbate compulsively. They are all equally horny. When did it become an affliction for a hot woman to want to have sex all the time? These gorgeous, sexually oppressed creatures of desire need to be liberated from such puritan, antiquated, sexist thinking. I welcome them with open arms!