Home Sweet Home
I spent the weekend with the parents for the first time in almost two months. It certainly was a welcoming respite from an awful week both professionally and personally. I got to sleep in late, eat tasty homecooked food (Dad made awesome noodles, I'm hungry now just thinking about them) and lick my wounds instead of sulking in the apartment, blowing money on drinks and brooding over her.
As I reflected on the tumultuous and emotionally draining past few weeks, I tried to blot all memories of her from my mind: the cute freckles on her face, her beautiful smile, the kiss-me-you-fool look on our second date, the way her laughter radiated throughout her body and bounced off mine as we laid next to each other, the "Kind of Blue" cocktail I ordered before we parted, the terrible, unsettling feeling of having lost a part of myself, almost a gnawing hunger, after I hopped in the cab later that night, the white hot anger that I struggled to contain after being informed by the cabbie that he was a n00b and didn't know how to get from 9th st. & 3rd ave to fucking Zum Schneider on 7th & C. I gave and gave and gave and got nothing back but a bitter dose of disappointment, not even a lousy T-shirt that says "I gave and gave and gave and all I got was this lousy T-shirt."
I don't know how to play the game and probably never will. I guess this is how people get hurt.
Although I feel a sense of vulnerability as I had never felt before, I refuse to become one of those bitter, defeated people who build impenetrable walls around themselves to guard against potential disappointments and heartaches. I will go on wearing my emotions on my sleeves. I will continue to say what I mean and mean what I say. I will savor the good times and move past the bad.
No games. No bullshit. No regrets.
All this moping makes me want to grow a pony tail and write bad poetry.
Let's talk about the most enjoyable things I did this weekend, shall we? Well, I finally looked at the pictures that were taken in California a month ago when I went to visit my sister and her family in Davis, as well as my buddies in the SF Bay Area (thanks Sachin! Still waiting for pics from BK, Tolu and Paola!): Teaching Cindy how to pedal the least ugly bike I could get for her second birthday (just wish it didn't have all that fucking trademarked pink Disney shit all over the place); watching her having a good time at the playground; having a little fun myself; taking a picture of my sister and brother-in-law when they weren't busy changing Cindy's diaper or feeding her soup or giving her a bath or singing a lullaby to her or taking pictures of her.
I also met up with a bunch of furry and violent, if I might add, Indians who made fun of my relative hairlessness. I also got back in touch with a few friends that I hadn't seen in a while, even playing Super Street Puzzle Fighter against Jason, just like in freshman year! Best of all, I flashed Sachin the Intimidator Look and scared him so much he almost fell out of his chair!! Good times!
My parents' new neighbors also invited us to their house for a Halloween party. Holy shit, those senior citizens threw a kick ass Halloween party: fully stocked bar, buffet dinner, professional DJ, and, best of all, folks young and old rocking to KC and the Sunshine Band in crazy costumes. David (the husband) was dressed as that wacky dude from the Six Flags commercials, complete with the huge glasses and bald plastic scalp. When that Venga Boys song started playing, he went wild, snapping his suspenders and gyrating them old bones without a care in the world. I just can't imagine my dad doing something like that. Ever. There must have been at least 60 or 70 people at this party. I was checking out David's hot granddaughter until I overheard that it was her 14th birthday. Oh well :) I also met his children (whose ages ranged from late 20's to early 40's) from his previous marriage(s?), one of whom had on a pregnant nun costume. Man, I love these new neighbors already!
Need to go to bed now. Will try to post some pretty funny guy stories tomorrow.
As I reflected on the tumultuous and emotionally draining past few weeks, I tried to blot all memories of her from my mind: the cute freckles on her face, her beautiful smile, the kiss-me-you-fool look on our second date, the way her laughter radiated throughout her body and bounced off mine as we laid next to each other, the "Kind of Blue" cocktail I ordered before we parted, the terrible, unsettling feeling of having lost a part of myself, almost a gnawing hunger, after I hopped in the cab later that night, the white hot anger that I struggled to contain after being informed by the cabbie that he was a n00b and didn't know how to get from 9th st. & 3rd ave to fucking Zum Schneider on 7th & C. I gave and gave and gave and got nothing back but a bitter dose of disappointment, not even a lousy T-shirt that says "I gave and gave and gave and all I got was this lousy T-shirt."
I don't know how to play the game and probably never will. I guess this is how people get hurt.
Although I feel a sense of vulnerability as I had never felt before, I refuse to become one of those bitter, defeated people who build impenetrable walls around themselves to guard against potential disappointments and heartaches. I will go on wearing my emotions on my sleeves. I will continue to say what I mean and mean what I say. I will savor the good times and move past the bad.
No games. No bullshit. No regrets.
All this moping makes me want to grow a pony tail and write bad poetry.
Let's talk about the most enjoyable things I did this weekend, shall we? Well, I finally looked at the pictures that were taken in California a month ago when I went to visit my sister and her family in Davis, as well as my buddies in the SF Bay Area (thanks Sachin! Still waiting for pics from BK, Tolu and Paola!): Teaching Cindy how to pedal the least ugly bike I could get for her second birthday (just wish it didn't have all that fucking trademarked pink Disney shit all over the place); watching her having a good time at the playground; having a little fun myself; taking a picture of my sister and brother-in-law when they weren't busy changing Cindy's diaper or feeding her soup or giving her a bath or singing a lullaby to her or taking pictures of her.
I also met up with a bunch of furry and violent, if I might add, Indians who made fun of my relative hairlessness. I also got back in touch with a few friends that I hadn't seen in a while, even playing Super Street Puzzle Fighter against Jason, just like in freshman year! Best of all, I flashed Sachin the Intimidator Look and scared him so much he almost fell out of his chair!! Good times!
My parents' new neighbors also invited us to their house for a Halloween party. Holy shit, those senior citizens threw a kick ass Halloween party: fully stocked bar, buffet dinner, professional DJ, and, best of all, folks young and old rocking to KC and the Sunshine Band in crazy costumes. David (the husband) was dressed as that wacky dude from the Six Flags commercials, complete with the huge glasses and bald plastic scalp. When that Venga Boys song started playing, he went wild, snapping his suspenders and gyrating them old bones without a care in the world. I just can't imagine my dad doing something like that. Ever. There must have been at least 60 or 70 people at this party. I was checking out David's hot granddaughter until I overheard that it was her 14th birthday. Oh well :) I also met his children (whose ages ranged from late 20's to early 40's) from his previous marriage(s?), one of whom had on a pregnant nun costume. Man, I love these new neighbors already!
Need to go to bed now. Will try to post some pretty funny guy stories tomorrow.
posted by Gary at
2:04 PM
<< Home