Appealing the Parking Ticket

Since I still have one appeal left to explain why I think the retard-- I mean judge's decision should be overturned, I'm thinking of possible responses:

1.) I can't read the fucking moron's handwriting so I should not have to pay the fine.
2.) I will just send them the check and tell them to use the money to send the judge back to elementary school to learn writing
3.) Send them a picture of my hairless Asian ass
4.) Slip some white powder along with the check
5.) Respond with some equally illegible handwriting