I Should Start an Advice Column

Coworker 1: "My mother-in-law doesn't want me to buy Asian rice because she thinks they may be old. The American rice she buys tastes terrible!!"
Me: "Just tell her you don't like her rice and buy your own."
Coworker 2: "Don't ever tell her that. If you do, you are dead."
Me: "Ok, then you should just put some bugs in her rice so she will stop buying it."