A Monster!!
After I got my cheap ass haircut in Chinatown today ($11 for cut/wash/blow dry AND tip), I hopped on the J train to get home. I will probably get eviscerated by Mom again when I get back home in the beginning of July for getting what she thinks is a bad haircut but I don't really care for now. During one of the stops on the way home, a hefty Asian boy got on the train and sat next to me. I didn't really pay attention to him until he put this clear plastic thing that's attached to a chain around his neck into his MOUTH and started SUCKING ON IT!! Now, I'm not really sure how old this kid was, but he certainly looked as heavy as me, although his weight, or actually fat, wasn't as evenly distributed as mine. I also figured that he can't be that young if he feels comfortable with riding on the subway by himself.
Anyways, pacifier boy started flipping through a folder that contained what appeared to be his homework. One of the sheets had words that he was supposed to pluralize. I saw red markings on what I presumed to be his pluralized version of the word "flower." I couldn't tell what he actually wrote, but it boggled my mind how anyone could fail in making "flower" a plural. YOU JUST ADD A FUCKING S TO THE END!!
Then he flipped the worksheet over and started looking at some kind of research paper he had written. The first thing I noticed was the title: "The History of Chinese Cions." There was a correction on the last word to make it "Coins." I read the first paragraph out of morbid curiosity. I can't quite remember everything except something similar to "the size of the coin they used was like our $0.25 quarter" and "they could buy a lot of stuff with this coin because things were much cheaper back then."
At this point, as if to taunt me, he touched his suck toy. IT STARTED FLASHING BLUE AND RED!! I envisioned this kid making that seamless transition from sucking on flashing pacifiers to driving rice rockets. If I were fat and old enough to be in an elementary school and yet still need to suck on a pacifier constantly, I wouldn't want to bring MORE attention to myself by buying an epileptic seisure-inducing pacifier.
Well, at least this kid debunked all those negative stereotypes of Chinese kids as being non-obese and smart, so it's not all bad.
After I got my cheap ass haircut in Chinatown today ($11 for cut/wash/blow dry AND tip), I hopped on the J train to get home. I will probably get eviscerated by Mom again when I get back home in the beginning of July for getting what she thinks is a bad haircut but I don't really care for now. During one of the stops on the way home, a hefty Asian boy got on the train and sat next to me. I didn't really pay attention to him until he put this clear plastic thing that's attached to a chain around his neck into his MOUTH and started SUCKING ON IT!! Now, I'm not really sure how old this kid was, but he certainly looked as heavy as me, although his weight, or actually fat, wasn't as evenly distributed as mine. I also figured that he can't be that young if he feels comfortable with riding on the subway by himself.
Anyways, pacifier boy started flipping through a folder that contained what appeared to be his homework. One of the sheets had words that he was supposed to pluralize. I saw red markings on what I presumed to be his pluralized version of the word "flower." I couldn't tell what he actually wrote, but it boggled my mind how anyone could fail in making "flower" a plural. YOU JUST ADD A FUCKING S TO THE END!!
Then he flipped the worksheet over and started looking at some kind of research paper he had written. The first thing I noticed was the title: "The History of Chinese Cions." There was a correction on the last word to make it "Coins." I read the first paragraph out of morbid curiosity. I can't quite remember everything except something similar to "the size of the coin they used was like our $0.25 quarter" and "they could buy a lot of stuff with this coin because things were much cheaper back then."
At this point, as if to taunt me, he touched his suck toy. IT STARTED FLASHING BLUE AND RED!! I envisioned this kid making that seamless transition from sucking on flashing pacifiers to driving rice rockets. If I were fat and old enough to be in an elementary school and yet still need to suck on a pacifier constantly, I wouldn't want to bring MORE attention to myself by buying an epileptic seisure-inducing pacifier.
Well, at least this kid debunked all those negative stereotypes of Chinese kids as being non-obese and smart, so it's not all bad.
posted by Gary at
11:01 PM
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