Wednesday, January 26, 2005


Today I made the greatest contribution to our apartment since my roommate and I both moved in: I finally bought some toilet paper after we ran out last week. For the past week, I've been either working like a madman or resting in bed to recover from my flu. In the meantime, my roommate started using napkins while I chose the softer and surprisingly strong kleenex tissues. I think neither of us was particularly worried about running out of our toilet paper substitutes since we always have a stack of magazines on the toilet water tank.

Actually, I would take great pleasure in ripping up the free issues of US News & World Report that I get with my membership because it is seriously the shittiest, most boring magazine ever. I once flipped through an entire issue without reading a single article. Not even a blurb. And in their list of things to do to make your life better in 2005, one of the suggestions was "Move to Bismarck." Who the fuck wants to move to North Dakota?

Recently, I also bought a humidifier. It seemed like a great idea at the time because my apartment was always too hot, but opening the window would make it too cold. I would wake up in the morning with a really dry throat and feel totally dehydrated, like I was really hung over, except I didn't get any of benefits of being drunk. I had heard that a humidifier would be the perfect solution. Well, I think I've used my $160 humidifier exactly 3 times because I'm too lazy to refill it. Besides, the weather is so cold now that my apartment doesn't feel so overheated. At this point I just hope the tank won't get moldy.