Monday, April 14, 2003

Separation of Sex and Love??

The other day I saw a woman scolding her s.o. for looking at another woman. After witnessing this mini-feud, I started pondering again something that I have always wondered about: is it ever possible to separate the physical act of intercourse from the emotional aspects of love? In other words, can a married person check out or fantasize about or, in extreme cases, have sex with someone other than his or her own spouse and still remain a devoted, loving partner? This issue is probably way too complex and delicate to banter about in a simple blog entry, so I will just toss out a few observations/viewpoints.

First, I realize that most people have affairs because they have stopped loving their partners. Or something like that. Jesus, as I write this entry, I'm beginning to appreciate what a loaded word "love" can be, i.e. by "stopped loving" above do I only mean they don't find their partners sexually attractive any more or am I trying to say that they have dissolved all emotional bonds, or both? I will update this entry when I figure it out myself. This is just getting messier and messier.

Basically, what I am trying to say is that I think I can find THE perfect girl (for me anyways), love and treasure her more than anything else in the world, be willing to die for her, and at the same time still appreciate other women's beauty. At least I don't think there is anything wrong with that, if I love her more than anyone else and I am totally devoted to her. Of course, I won't get all worked up into jealous rage if she does the same since there would be a mutual understanding between us. Then again, all of this is pure speculation. I have never been in a serious relationship and I can't predict something as irrational as emotions. I don't even know if I will be able to find that special someone.

Boy, I sound like a horn dog and a hippie.