Work Survival Tips

Some of the advice in this MSNBC article are hilarious:


HOW TO ENHANCE YOUR STATURE
Pretend You Have an Assistant
Alter your outgoing voicemail message.
Ask a spouse or friend, preferably with an intriguing foreign accent, to record your outgoing message. It should be a version of the following: "You have reached the office of [your name here]. S/he is not available to take your call. Please leave a message and s/he will return your call as soon as possible."
...
Look Busier than You Are
Purchase a headset and attach it to your phone.
It doesn't matter whether it's actually connected or not-tape it to the bottom of the phone if it won't hook in. Wear it constantly, and talk loudly when-ever someone passes by.
Keep large piles of paper on your desk at all times.
Re-arrange the stacks occasionally.
Type furiously from time to time.