Highway Robbery

I finally went to the grocery store today to buy some yummy fruits because the heat is on full blast at the apartment now that winter is finally here, which leads to chapped lips and dry throat for me. The prices at the Food Emporium a block away were so outrageous I started cursing at the produce. I mean, $3.50 for ONE bloody persimmon??? $10 for a 4-lb watermelon? I actually said "fuck you" to the banana stand when I saw the sorriest looking bunch of bananas going for A WHOLE FUCKING DOLLAR PER POUND!?!? I could shit better looking bananas than these squished, half-brown excuses for a banana.

Then I picked up a liter and a half bottle of Diet Coke for Chil, who definitely didn't appreciate my suggestion of sticking to fat-free water and questioned my preference for greasy Chinese food, in addition to suggesting that I purchase a vagina at the local drug store. Hey, I'm not the one who's 40 pounds overweight, that's all I'm saying.

I'm only 20 pounds overweight.