Friday, August 08, 2003

The Condiment War

Just heard about this event from the nonsense nyc mailing list:

The Madagascar Institute presents:

The Condiment War

A street event promising havoc, folly, and mayhem, featuring the pride, pomp, and circumstance of glorious war, without any of the, you know, killing.

Mustard! Mayonnaise! Worse!

Fierce fighting, crushing condiment cannons, and nasty weapons of mass disgusting on bikes, in carts, and mano a mano.

Courage! Valor! Ketchup!

Four rag-tag art armies face off in brutal urban combat: The treacherous Toyshop Collective, wily WAMP, the mean, mean Madagascar Institute, and you, the bloodthirsty public, banded together in an Irregular Militia. All teams must wear white and will be distinguished by colored armbands. (Wear a yellow one if you want to fight with the Irregular Militia.)

There are only two rules in this war. One: No glass. Two: We're not trying to hurt anyone. Stain, disgust, humiliate, yes, but no intentional damage. What about hot sauce? Affirmative. Vinegar? You coward!

Madagascar's artillery corps predicts heavy civilian casualties. This is a participatory event and the Irregular Militia wants you: Just wear the whites, bring goggles, and outfit yourself with a personal weapon (supersoakers, cardboard tanks, light duty trebuchets). You do not have to buy condiments, but they will not be provided for you; clean out your refrigerator or end up just another tartar sauced casualty of war.

After the battle, the trench-torn masses will repair to the Madagascar Institute for an afterparty barbecue with DJs Spinoza, kleverVice, and Diggie Diamond. Yes, there will be a hose, but you will want a change of clothing anyway.

Rain or shine.

I had so much fun at the Chunkathlon that I'm tempted to go to this thing, but it seems like I can't just stand on the sidelines and watch. I will actually have to join the food fight, which does not look very appealing because of that brutal Branner staff initiation ceremony I went through a couple of years back. And besides, I don't want to look and smell like shit on the train back from Brooklyn. Hmmm, are the priceless photos that I will be sure to snap at this event worth it?