I Want to Have Jon Stewart's Baby

Here's his Emmys segment.

My Roommate the Sicko

Notes found in my roommate's GMAT prep notebook, probably written for me to see:

"Sitting at White Castle + fucking a girl"

"Squeezing my boobs together like a big [???] while some girl pees on the top while Gary watches the pee drip from the top of my boobs and goes down either into my mouth or into my belly button"

"Sticking my finger up girls buttholes"

"Sliding my tongue inside chicks vaginal lips"

"Taking my pants off and rubbing my exposed vagina against some butch chicks leg while screaming 'meow'"

"Taking a huge dump and thinking about Gary while some girls fingers me"

"Like it when some girl comes into the locker room all naked and sweaty because it makes me all hot for Gary"

First I find out he grew up in a cult, now these hilarious notes. Beginning to like the guy more and more.

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