Monday, November 21, 2005

Drunken Revelry

Saturday night I went to a Cardinal Young Alum Big Game thing at a bar a block away from my apartment and watched most of the Big Game with some friends. There was an open bar, which spelled doom for me.

Sunday morning I woke up feeling a bit hung over. I walked into the living room and found the roommie lying on the couch watching ESPN as usual. We had the following conversation:

Roomie: Dude do you remember what happened last night?

Me: Yeah, I came home pretty drunk, threw up in the kitchen sink and then went to bed. Thanks for making my bed [I had tons of unfolded laundry on my bed]

R: No dude, you came in totally drunk, started fondling Adrienne [roomie's gf] so I smacked you, then you lay on top of both of us, then you lay on the floor and then you threw up in the kitchen sink. Leslie called too, and you told her, [with a drunken, slurred voice'] "I will call you tomorrow"

At this point I was somewhat horrified and embarassed because I had absolutely no recollection of these things happening.

M: Oh shit, really? Sorry about that. How did I fondle her?

R: You smacked her in the ass. I put your "Gary '02" sticker on your forehead and we both thought it was really funny. You were like, [in the most fucking hilarious simulated, computerized monotone voice I've ever heard] "ERRRRROR!! ERRRRROR! BLUE SCREEN! SYNTAX ERRRORR! EJECT! EJECT!"

Later I talked to Adrienne:

M: Sorry about last night. Did I really fondle you? I usually hug people when I'm drunk because I'm a happy drunk

A: Yeah, you hugged me, but I hope that's not how you hug your dad, haha. Just kidding!

Although I was a little embarassed, both the roomie and his gf thought it was hilarious. Later on during the day, the roommie kept giving me shit about my vomiting, so I fought back:

M: You threw up too on Friday night!

R [with the most innocent what-me expression]: No I didn't. What are you talking about?

M: I asked Josh [R's friend] on Saturday morning who threw up in the toilet and he said it was you.

R: I'm going to kill Josh.