Saturday, June 21, 2003

More Pictures Posted (Finally)

I'm moving next week, so the most urgent thing right now is putting up a bunch of old pictures, obviously.

The Wonder Years
First Three Years at Stanford
The Best Year at Stanford: Branner
Minimum wage CEO

CEO of floundering software company willing to make minimum wage working from home in order to keep company alive. I have to admire the guy's tenacity.

I hope I never have to work at CompUsa.
Fucking Rain

It's been raining ALL day again today!! For the past 2 weeks, there has been very little sunshine. The good days were grey and depressing while the bad had annoying drizzling and showers. The has been a whoopping 8 rainless weekends since the beginning of this year. Next weekend, which is when I plan to make the big move to the new apartment, it may rain again. I swear, if it rains again, I will build my own ark and sail the fuck out of this god forsaken place. It's driving me nights.

Friday, June 20, 2003


I actually heard about this extreme ironing thing on the news. This has got to be some kind of prank. Why the fuck would anyone try to iron while dangling in the middle of a canyon? This just defies logic. Actually never mind, the newscast actually had video footages of people ironing clothes in rivers, forests, etc.
Define Irony

Remember Senator Orrin Hatch's ranting and raving about how people who illegally download MP3's should have their computers destroyed? Well, it looks like his own website is using unlicensed software. I volunteer to smash his computers with a big sledgehammer.

Thursday, June 19, 2003


What does unsafe work environment have to do with "global economy"? So we don't need OSHA here to protect US workers just because we are in a "global economy" now? I can't get used to reading about poor people dying while trying to earn some money to support their families because some cheap asshole has his beady capitalist eyes glued to the bottom line. I never will.

I don't know if you have actually taken the time to read the entire article, and I can glean next to nothing about you from the few posts contained in your blog, but since you like making assumptions about other people you barely know, let me take a stab: I'm sure you wouldn't want to trade your health for $25,000, even if you could spend it in China.
I Kid You Not

From the annals of Craig's List:

Seeking Groom for Wedding on July 12th, 2003
Date: 2003-06-19, 11:51AM

This is a serious ad.

I am a 25 year old Dominican woman. I have always been described as VERY attractive. I am always mistaken for a stripper, although I am not.

I was engaged and my wedding was booked for July 12th, but my fiancee left me to be with his ex-wife. I do not want to call off the wedding. I am looking for a guy who will marry me on that day. We can decide if we want to stay together later, but let's split the gifts first at least.

I don't really have any specific preference as to what the guy looks like. He should be good looking by most standards, race unimportant, but asian and caucasian are preferred. Please be employed. I also am very eager to enjoy our honeymoon, so bring an appetite for wild sex!!!!

One catch, you will not be able to see me until we are at the church. I am sorry, but I won't be back in the city until that day. I can talk to you on the phone and give all the details.

I am VERY serious, please be serious also.

Thank you
Rock You Like a Hurricane

Yesterday I bought a can of Axe Body Spray to help me cover up the weird apartment smell that has befouled my clothes before I finally move into the new apartment next weekend. After spraying and smelling several different scents, I decided on the Tsunami. I think I've finally axed (yeah I'm a dork) that weird smell.

The other reason that I bought Axe was that I love their hilarious commercials, especially the one where the hot model started making out with the mannequin after it was sprayed with a little Axe. It was a stroke of genius. Maybe some hot I-banking chick will rip my clothes off in the elevator today. Crossing my fingers.
So That's How It Is

This article from the Times details a scientific study that yields some pretty shocking conclusions:

"The finding of 78 active genes on the Y contradicts an earlier impression of the chromosome as being a genetic wasteland apart from its male-determining gene. But if the Y is not a wasteland, important consequences ensue for the differences between men and women.

As often noted, the genomes of humans and chimpanzees are 98.5 percent identical, when each of their three billion DNA units are compared. But what of men and women, who have different chromosomes?

Until now, biologists have said that makes no difference, because there are almost no genes on the Y, and in women one of the two X chromosomes is inactivated, so that both men and women have one working X chromosome.

But researchers have recently found that several hundred genes on the X escape inactivation. Taking those genes into account along with the new tally of Y genes gives this result: Men and women differ by 1 to 2 percent of their genomes, Dr. Page said, which is the same as the difference between a man and a male chimpanzee or between a woman and a female chimpanzee."

Holy shit, no wonder women are so indecipherable, they are all male chimps!!!

Wednesday, June 18, 2003

A Monster!!

After I got my cheap ass haircut in Chinatown today ($11 for cut/wash/blow dry AND tip), I hopped on the J train to get home. I will probably get eviscerated by Mom again when I get back home in the beginning of July for getting what she thinks is a bad haircut but I don't really care for now. During one of the stops on the way home, a hefty Asian boy got on the train and sat next to me. I didn't really pay attention to him until he put this clear plastic thing that's attached to a chain around his neck into his MOUTH and started SUCKING ON IT!! Now, I'm not really sure how old this kid was, but he certainly looked as heavy as me, although his weight, or actually fat, wasn't as evenly distributed as mine. I also figured that he can't be that young if he feels comfortable with riding on the subway by himself.

Anyways, pacifier boy started flipping through a folder that contained what appeared to be his homework. One of the sheets had words that he was supposed to pluralize. I saw red markings on what I presumed to be his pluralized version of the word "flower." I couldn't tell what he actually wrote, but it boggled my mind how anyone could fail in making "flower" a plural. YOU JUST ADD A FUCKING S TO THE END!!

Then he flipped the worksheet over and started looking at some kind of research paper he had written. The first thing I noticed was the title: "The History of Chinese Cions." There was a correction on the last word to make it "Coins." I read the first paragraph out of morbid curiosity. I can't quite remember everything except something similar to "the size of the coin they used was like our $0.25 quarter" and "they could buy a lot of stuff with this coin because things were much cheaper back then."

At this point, as if to taunt me, he touched his suck toy. IT STARTED FLASHING BLUE AND RED!! I envisioned this kid making that seamless transition from sucking on flashing pacifiers to driving rice rockets. If I were fat and old enough to be in an elementary school and yet still need to suck on a pacifier constantly, I wouldn't want to bring MORE attention to myself by buying an epileptic seisure-inducing pacifier.

Well, at least this kid debunked all those negative stereotypes of Chinese kids as being non-obese and smart, so it's not all bad.
A New Industrial Revolution?

People dying in China just so Wal-Mart can sell cheap trinkets here. It's so depressing.

Tuesday, June 17, 2003


Haha, this is great.
Tooting My Own Horn

Before I found the apartment on 46th St., I had applied to live at a luxury co-op apartment on 36th St. Because it's a co-op, this place was ridiculously picky about everything. The co-op board has an exhaustive application process that requires FOUR reference letters: a personal one, two business ones and one from my current landlord. Even though I hated how elitist these fuckers were, at the time I didn't have any other decent choices so I had to go through with it. Since Tolu was kind enough to write a reference letter for me, I had the personal rec down. I didn't want to burden my coworker and manager with the task of actually writing the letters, so I offered to write them myself and then had them signed by the respective "recommenders" (sp?).

It was surprisingly difficult to write these letters. I know I'm a great guy and all, but I didn't want to write something so outlandish that my boss and coworker would laugh their asses off. I think I pulled it off though. My manager was very impressed by how much I managed to impress him in such a short period of time working here. My coworker signed "her" letter withouth even looking at the letter, which was kind of disappointing since I wanted to see her reaction. Fortunately, I didn't have to fake one for my Chinese landlord, who probably isn't very proficient with the English language, because I found a better apartment.

Anyways, here are the rec letters "written" by my boss and coworker. I had no idea how much everyone liked me :-)
Stick It To Them

I'm very happy that A&F has finally been sued for racial discrimination. I have always hated that store for its overpriced super-preppy clothing. Those retarded T-shirts with slant-eyed Asian cartoon characters certainly did not make me look at them favorably.

From the SF Chronicle:

Anthony Ocampo, a Filipino-American who recently graduated from Stanford University, said he applied for a job at a store in Glendale, Calif. where he'd previously worked. After speaking with a manager, a sales person told him, "We're sorry, but we can't rehire you because there's already too many Filipinos working here," said Ocampo, 21.
Another plaintiff, Angeline Wu, a Chinese-American, saw her hours cut and was later terminated from a store in Costa Mesa, Calif. That happened after a manager pointed at a poster of a blond-haired, blue-eyed male model and said the store needed more staff members with a similar appearance, she said. She and five other Asian-American women were later terminated, she said.

It's sad that a Stanford grad had to settle for a teenager's job. I'm glad he's taking the initiative to file a lawsuit. I want to see that clothing chain destroyed like the neocons wanted to destroy the Clintons.
Free At Last

Recently, I haven't had much time blogging because of the grueling month-long apartment hunt. Last Friday, I finally signed the lease for an apartment! It's in midtown east, on 46th St & 1st Ave, which is about 4 blocks away from my work place, which means I can sleep for one more hour everyday now!! Or I can go to bed one hour later, which is more likely, unfortunately for my health and sanity. For $2,100 a month I get to share a one-bedroom apartment with someone else. It's kind of depressing that even though I work for an investment bank and he's a stock broker and we both have decent-paying jobs, we can still only afford a one-bedroom apartment in Manhattan, and this is one of the best deals we have seen. Granted, this place is a HUGE 1BR (700+ sq feet), which is why we are planning to convert it into a 2BR by building a wall in the living room to create a new bedroom. All the real 2 bedroom places in our price range are so tiny (I'm talking about bedrooms that are only large enough to fit a bed), we gave up trying to find one. The real, liveable 2 BR places start somewhere around $2800/month I hear.

The apartment complex itself is pretty bare bones. The most significant amenities are the doorman, the elevators and the laundry room in the basement. That's it. No gym. No pool. No parking (the nearby garage charges almost $300 a month). No landscaped lawn and beautiful fountain. Yep, it's not nearly as nice as Srini's $1600-something 3 BR/2BA apartment in Mountain View. I hate you California people with your affordable housing.

The move-in date is 7/1, although we may be able to move in the weekend before. Now we need to figure out how we will get the wall built. We need to hire a subcontractor or pay the supervisor to build it. This whole "conversion" thing is just so totally foreign to me. When my roommate first brought it up, I stared at him in disbelief: "You want to do WHAT??" I calmed down a little bit after I checked out the place he's living in right now, which is a 2BR converted into a 3 BR. I was pretty impressed with the wall that they had put up. It looked pretty solid and actually had doors. I would have never guessed that it was put in afterwards just by looking at it. I hope our wall will look just as good. Of course, I also hear that it will cost us $500 to $600.

The most unpleasant part, or the least pleasant part to be more accurate, of the whole moving experience is not the moving itself. It's the fact that I will need to drive my car back to MN since I can't possibly afford to park near the new apartment and I don't feel like coming back to my old apartment every weekend to move it around just so people won't think it's abandoned and try to jack it. Yep, I will celebrate my big move by driving more than 1200 miles alone right afterwards, and then fly back!! Sachin suggested that I ship it to MN. I checked with the shipper that I used to ship my car to here from California and found out that it will be at least $730, which is a bit steep. Plus, I feel pretty retarded shipping it all the way from CA to here and then from here to MN.

Inspite of all these issues, I'm still very excited to finally move into Manhattan. No more retarded one-hour-and-fifteen-minute commutes. No more dry cleaning my suits because they've been contaminated by that God-forsaken smelly apartment. No more feeling weird walking down the neighborhood because I'm the only guy wearing a suit. My friends will actually come visit me now!! Now if only I can get a big raise.

Sunday, June 15, 2003

My Big Fat Greek Wedding

Finally watched it today. It's a pretty entertaining movie. While watching it I had all kind of questions.

1.) How far would I go to pursue someone? Would I be willing to go Greek Orthodox in order to marry the person that I love? Or become a born again Christian, or be circumcised? Well, that last one wouldn't work since no one can convert to Judaism, if I understand it correctly. Even if it were possible, it would still be marginally better than becoming a vegetarian, or *gasp* vegan.

2.) Why is it so hard for me to just be spontaneous and strike up a conversation with a girl that I see on the street? Like yesterday, while I was waiting to be helped by a "genius" at the Apple Store (yes, the tech support people are actually called that), there was this girl right behind me also waiting. She was really cute and I definitely wouldn't have minded getting to know her a little better. We were both waiting in line for almost 20 minutes, but my mouth clammed shut. I guess part of the reason was that I had no clue how old she was just by looking at her. She looked like she could be anywhere from 14 to 24. Damn Asians!

Anyways, the reason can't be that I'm not a spontaneous person. I am very impulsive and often do whatever I feel like doing at any given moment, from taking a drive through the park today (although I somehow ended up driving through the nearby cemetary instead) to watching a movie that starts in an hour to driving 10 miles for some pho at 1 AM. I think the main reason is that I am horrified of being brushed off or rejected and I hate looking like a fool while limping away with my tail between my legs. But when I think about it, the one time that I did talk to someone on a whim, it turned out pretty well. I had a short conversation with a cute girl while waiting to get on the airplane. I found out she was originally from Taiwan and was majoring in Biology or Microbiology at Cal. We had a pretty good chat. Too bad she sat at least 10 rows away from me. I was almost ready to walk up to her and sit in the empty seat besides her when some asshole came on the plane at the last minute and plopped down his dumb ass next to her. I didn't remember her name. I even saw her name on her boarding pass too!! Times like these, I wish I had photographic memory. I tried finding her on the Cal bio dept. website with whatever vague fragment of her name that I could remember, but had to give up because there were just too many Asian premeds. Once again, damn Asians!!

3.) I don't understand how some parents can be so narrow-minded in terms of what kind people their children should or should not marry. I know my parents would prefer that I marry a Chinese girl for cultural reasons, but I don't think they will oppose me marrying a white or black or hispanic girl, as long as they can see that we love each other, and she's a great person and not a crack whore. I guess I'm pretty fortunate to have parents that are so understanding and even progressive.
Let's Talk About Sex...

Allen brought up the bird and the bee story, which I have never actually heard from anyone since my parents are Chinese and haven't the slightest clue what this story may be. Also, when I hit puberty my dad just handed me a library book on puberty and sexuality. I guess that's the scientist's way of dealing with this touchy subject: research. Will someone please enlighten me on the bird and bee story, hopefully post it in its entirety?