Saturday, April 05, 2003

Holy Shit!!

I still can't believe what Kansas did to Marquette tonight. Talk about a shellacking!! I mean, it's as if Kansas ripped off Marquette's little tighty whities, put him across his knees and gave him a good spanking, and then decided to give him an atomic wedgie just for the hell of it. To top it all off, Kansas boxed Marquette's ears and stole his lunch money just for kicks.

This game reminded me of the Stanford-Cal game a couple of years ago where we beat them by 50 points. Man, I miss those gold old days. I think I was so lucky to be able to experience sort of an athletic golden age/renaissance while at Stanford, during which our bball team was ranked #1 in the country consistently, our football team went to the Rose Bowl and never lost a Big Game, and our baseball team went to consecutive College World Series finals. Maybe that's why I am such a big sports dork now, despite being totally apathetic in high school.
Appealing the Parking Ticket

Since I still have one appeal left to explain why I think the retard-- I mean judge's decision should be overturned, I'm thinking of possible responses:

1.) I can't read the fucking moron's handwriting so I should not have to pay the fine.
2.) I will just send them the check and tell them to use the money to send the judge back to elementary school to learn writing
3.) Send them a picture of my hairless Asian ass
4.) Slip some white powder along with the check
5.) Respond with some equally illegible handwriting

Friday, April 04, 2003


Finally, a Democrat presidential candidate is fighting back against the GOP chicken hawks. I sure hope other Democrats will follow Senator John Kerry's lead, even if they are competing against him in the primary:

"The Republicans have tried to make a practice of attacking anybody who speaks out strongly by questioning their patriotism," the Massachusetts senator said in a telephone interview with The Associated Press. "I refuse to have my patriotism or right to speak out questioned. I fought for and earned the right to express my views in this country."

I am just sick and tired of hearing Republican draft dodgers spewing venom at Democrat war veterans. How dare they question the patriotism of others who fought and bled for this country when they used their family political connections to avoid serving in the military. Although Clinton didn't serve in Vietnam because he was a conscientious objector against the war, at least he stood by his beliefs and didn't try to use lame excuses like college cheerleading (Trent Lott), or minorities taking up all the places in the military (Tom Delay). These fucking hypocrites make me sick with their simultaneous war-mongering and mudslinging against those who dare to question the administration. Do these privileged, cowardly, closet racist fuckheads have no shame? Why do they keep getting re-elected? Some inbreds deserve these assholes, NOT ME.
And I Thought Fox News was Biased

The Times has a great article on the Arab media coverage of the current war. I can safely conclude from reading this article that if there were Arabs out there that did not hate us before, they have every reason to want a "regime change" in America now:

It was a picture of Arab grief and rage. A teenage boy glared from the rubble of a bombed building as a veiled woman wept over the body of a relative.

In fact, it was two pictures: one from the American-led war in Iraq and the other from the Palestinian territories, blended into one image this week on the Web site of the popular Saudi daily newspaper Al Watan.

The meaning would be clear to any Arab reader: what is happening in Iraq is part of one continuous brutal assault by America and its allies on defenseless Arabs, wherever they are.
President Bush, in one Egyptian weekly newspaper, is shown on each page of war coverage in a Nazi uniform. American and British forces are called "allies of the devil." Civilian casualties are frequently reported as "massacres" or, as another Egyptian paper said, an "American Holocaust."
A popular Arabic Web site, one of many to display the most gruesome images of the war, showed a picture of a little girl bleeding from her eye, the same image that was used by many newspapers in the region. The caption reads: "My dead mother is liberated and so am I."
Some people said, before the invasion of Iraq, that solving the Saddam problem would make the reputation of the U.S. better," said Turki al-Hamad, a Saudi commentator who advocates democratic reforms in the kingdom. "Now if the United States said 2 plus 2 is 4, no one would believe them."

The Times has a very interesting article on spy photographers who stake out for days at a time to snap pictures of hot preproduction vehicles, as well as the lengths that car manufacturers are willing to go to prevent their new designs from being exposed. Favorite part of the article:

Mr. Paulina, the Michigan photographer, said he once had a bowl of rice thrown at his car by a group of angry Korean engineers whose prototype he had surreptitiously snapped in Utah

Thursday, April 03, 2003

Damn Leeches

A while back I got a parking ticket for parking too close to a fire hydrant. Now, I admit I was parked a little too close to the hydrant, but the yellow line next to the hydrant ended prematurely and my car was outside of the yellow line. I would have just paid the ticket if it were, say $25, or even $50. No, the fine was $105!!! I was delusional enough to think that they may be receptive to my explanation and possibly be sympathetic enough to reduce if not waive the fine.

Today, I got the result back. The printed slip of paper says I have been found guilty and must pay the fine. Attached to the paper is a sticker that contains the verdict from some bloke who works at the agency. I have one more chance to appeal this verdict though. I must fill out a form and respond to the verdict to explain why I still have a case. Fair enough, IF ONLY I CAN READ THE FUCKING VERDICT!!!!! That verdict was scanned at a pretty high resolution so it's almost identical to the physical copy. If someone can figue out the guy's explanation let me know.
I am a Whore

This is probably a really really bad idea, but I signed up with so that people can rate my blog by clicking on one of the little colorful icons in the right column under "Rate me on" Click away.
Are They for Real??

#1. I don't know if the NY Newsday can be compared to the Times in terms of journalistic integrity, but this article is pretty shocking. Selling water to Iraqi refugees? That's pretty fucked up if it's actually true.

#2. A senator wants to try Peter Arnett for treason because the guy was stupid enough to say that the war plan is a failure, which is a perfectly valid assessment. Granted, Arnett probably should have been smarter than to be used as a propaganda tool by the Iraqis, but at least he wasn't stupid enough to expose our troop movement by drawing a map on the sand. Why isn't Geraldo Rivera getting as much flack when the guy actually endangered the lives of our soldiers?

#3. Yet more conservative/hawkish stupidity.

#4. How stupid can a man be when he's horny? Answer here..
Are They Hot??

While discussing the Jennifer Garner breakup with Kodawg, we started tossing around names of Hollywood starlets that we think are super hot. By super hot, I don't mean "pretty hot," like Jennifer Garner or Heather Graham. Super hot to me means crotch-burning, "Human Nature"-humping the projector screen hot. For some strange reason, we couldn't really come up with that many names.

Here's all I can come up with: Kristin Kreuk, Audry Hepburn (more of a classical beauty, as kodawg noted), Charlize Theron, Shannon Elizabeth, Catherine Zeta-Jones (pre-Michael Douglas), Christina Applegate (I'll always remember her from Married with Children), Cameron Diaz, Kirsten Dunst, Famke Janssen (the hottest bond villain ever), Kelly Hu, Calista Flockhart (ok, maybe not so much hot as cute).

Here are Kodawg's choices, outside of the porn industry: Nicole Kidman, Sophia Marceau, Halle Berry, Gretchen Mol. He also loves the Olsen twins. He'll probably provide more choices when he wakes up in class and returns to his dorm.

There must be hotter stars we are forgetting.
Silly Hong Kong People

I never thought anyone would attempt to make face masks fashionable or trendy, but I guess that's the best way to cope with a deadly, highly contagious virus. Some of these people look like they are wearing colorful briefs on their face.

Best quote: ""I think people in Hong Kong are looking better now that they're wearing masks."

Speaking of the virus, now not only am I worried about having to cancel my summer trip to China, I am also a bit concerned about going to Chinatown. I'm sure many people living there travel back and forth between here and China. Who knows if someone has already gotten the disease and is spreading it around? Man, I just hope this disease doesn't get so out of hand that there will be some kind of backlash against Asians. Hopefully, we won't be treated like lepers, although I myself may be guilty of scapegoating other people already.

Wednesday, April 02, 2003

If Boredom Strikes You

Check out for some pretty sweet games. Too bad I can't play at work.
I'm SO Tired

Man, I can barely keep my eyes open right now. I wish I can crawl under my desk and take a nap. Living an hour away from my workplace really sucks. I have to get up at around 7 just so I can make it here by 9. Of course, I'm still going to bed pretty late so I get at most 6 hours of sleep every day, which really begins to hurt as I progress through the week.

I need to move to the city.
The Onion Rules

Man, there are just too many funny articles. Lately though, I have noticed Stanford being dumped on quite a bit, like in this article It seems like Stanford has become so popular that there is a backlash against us. A few nights ago, I was watching Six Feet Under. In one of the episodes, Claire and her Mary Jane were ratted out by this J. Crew-looking preppy boy during one of those "spiritual" hiking trips. Head guy: "Yep, he's really good at bullshitting, that's why he's going to Stanford." Give me a break, as if Harrrrvard (say that with a stuffy New England accent) and Yale kids aren't great bullshitters.
Super Fun Read

This article says all I have ever wanted to say, and then some.

Tuesday, April 01, 2003

Real News

Maybe Saddam has been dead all along.

Sigh, I just found out that Leslie Cheung (or Zhang Guorong for us mainlanders), one of the few Hong Kong actors that I actually respect, committed suicide yesterday.

The first movie of his that I saw was "A Better Tomorrow II. Man, he kicked ass with Chow Yun-Fat in that super intense John Woo-directed action movie. He also starred in "Farewell My Concubine," one of my favorite movies of all time, although it was also one of the saddest movies I have ever watched. It was set during the Cultural Revolution, a particularly turbulent and brutal era in my parent's lives. Watching that movie really helped me to begin to appreciate the kind of hardship and repression that my parents have experienced.

In the years that followed, I have come across various other movies by him here and there, but none was as powerful as the two movies mentioned previously. It is discouraging but unsurprising since the Hong Kong entertainment industry -- movie, TV, music -- as a whole has declined tremendously. Most of the Hong Kong movies I have seen recently are downright awful because their "plots" do not make any sense at all and the directors seem to be on crack, with the nonstop panning and quick cuts. There is no such thing as character development in these movies because the actors are usually crossed over pop stars who can't act to save their lives. Subtlety has been tossed out of the window along with logic and good taste.

I will miss him.
Stupid Blogger

There were some hardware issues with the website so I lost my template for a while. Lessons I learned from all this: 1.) you get what you paid for, which in my case is zero; and 2.) back up your shit!

Monday, March 31, 2003

Adventures Back Home

Three things happened today while I was on my way back. First I saw two pretty policewomen in Grand Central. Pretty hefty that is. These ladies were packing much more weight than heat. I don't know how they will be able to chase down criminals if they can't run very fast. I mean, I can run faster than them, and I've been told that I walk like a crab and run like a duck. God help us if there are actual terrorists running around in the subway planting bombs.

As if I am being punished for those nasty thoughts, my paystub, complete with my name, address, social security number, and bank account number, flew out of my bag and onto the tracks when I took out a book to read while waiting for the train. It really wasn't useful to me since it wasn't my paycheck and I have an online copy of it. I also didn't want to get run over by a big fucking train. However, since all my important personal information was printed on this super conspicuous light purple paper, I began to have flashbacks of all those Capitol One commercials with their silly chimps and mermaids buying hordes of stuff at the expense of some poor sap. Therefore, I looked around for Metro Transit Authority personnel or a cop to maybe help me figure out a way to get it back. Of course, no MTA guy was around and my bad karma probably drove away all the cops in the area.I waited for one train too pass through, hoping that it would somehow ruin the paper to such an extent that no useful information can be gleaned. It got swept up into a puddle of water. I'm still pretty worried though. Maybe I should alert my bank tomorrow.

After I got on the train, there were some subway performers doing their thing. I had seen them on the train before, but was too tired to care last time. This time I actually paid more attention. In this group there were two guys that looked like they belonged in high school and two little boys that couldn't be more than 6 years old. I'm not sure if they are black or Puerto Rican.

They started playing some hip hop on this huge boombox staight out of an eighties breakdancing movie. The thing was bigger than the little boys! While the music was playing they were doing backflips and rolling around on a moving train, which was really impressive. One of the little boys actually reminded me of my little cousin just before I left China. I pulled out my wallet and tried to find a dollar bill to give to them, but there were only twenties. The little boy asked, "do you have five dollar bills?" Honestly, I would have given it to him if I actually had any five-dollar bills. I finally dug out some coins from my jacket pocket to give to him. It was pretty embarassing. I usually have more coins in my pocket just for such occasions, but I used most of them doing laundry last weekend. Oh well. I will probably see them again.

I'm hungry. Time to eat.

Excerpts from a message written by an anonymous worker at a 24-hour cable news channel:

Antiwar protesters like to say that the media is "in bed" with the Pentagon. I think that's true, but only so long as it's profitable. If American public opinion turns against this war, the media will get in bed with United for Peace and Justice. The media is not liberal or conservative, hawkish or dovish. The media is a whore. And I'm a whore because I work in it.

I used to support the war. But now I see that my schedule will only improve once the shooting stops. So if it's going to be a long war, I say give peace a chance. I've been playing "War Is Over" by John and Yoko at my cubicle as a quiet form of nonviolent protest. I'm organizing a group of like-minded, disgruntled employees to stage antiwar protests in front of our building. We'll probably all get fired, but at this point, none of us really care."

Complete text at the bottom of this article
ex non-POW's

Interestingly, the Times didn't report on the release of 18 prisoners from Guantanamo Bay, but the Chicago Tribune did. Looks like they weren't treated too poorly, other than being imprisoned in small cells. At least they ended up better than the two guys that died of "blunt force trauma" in this jail.
Pseudo-Intellectual Musing

gfunknation: it probably just sounded retarded
mahaYana123: man u've such a positive outlook always..
gfunknation: i know
gfunknation: the glass is always cracked for me
Workplace Happiness

Coworker (holding her neck): Ouch! I think I sprained my neck last night.
Me: Hehe, my roommates used to make fun of me when that happened to me.
Coworker: Why? They were making fun of your face?

She's not as sweet as she seems.

Thanks to some insider info from Tolu, I found out that Special K will be back this fall, reigining supreme in the best all frosh dorm on campus again, keeping it real and ghetto fabulous. Sigh, too bad I graduated already or I would consider appying to be an RCC again. Here are some excerpts from the bio of Kennell Jackson, eternal resident fellow/guardian angel/fairy godmother of Branner Hall:

"2003-2004 will be an important year for Branner. Renovation will be over. The enhanced Branner will begin. I have been living outside of Branner this whole year; winter and spring quarters, I am on sabbatical. I cannot say that I have thought that much about Branner, except to go over the building plans. This period of separation gives me a cleaner sense of it for the future. The students who enter Branner in September will be entering the future of Branner. They will be like those people in the Saturn commercial who are riding through their personal pasts to the future. (I love that commercial; in fact, I took a wager from someone that I could get that in here somehow. $5 is mine.) Seriously, though, Branner will be virtually new. Everyone there will be shaping it for its new future."

And I thought I was the only person that love the Saturn commercials.

"The RCCs have been important additions to the staff, not because of what they are skilled to do, but because they are important eyes and ears in the house and because they bring their own special interests to frosh. When you have a RCC who is involved in Habitat for Humanity, you can get a few students into this important work."

A little ego inflation for myself :-)

The man is too cool!! Branner is in good hands. Cindy and Joe, I hope you guys will be on staff next year! Unless you hated living in Branner, of course.
Cool Stuff

This article reminds me of that recent Bond movie where 007 drove the invisible Aston Martin, if I remember correctly.

Sunday, March 30, 2003

One Last Thing

I've always wondered what the leaflets actually look like, now I know. Some of these look pretty patronizing though.
Fox TV Programs

Just saw previews for some terrible Fox Monday night shows. First there is Boston Public, which is probably the most absurd show outside of reality-TV land. They have an amish guy (I think) and Mini-Me on Monday's show. Before that, I remember seeing ads about some idiot teacher who was having an affair with a student's supposedly psychotic mother, who just happen to be married to a crazy arms dealer that threatened to kill him. Then, there was the other ad about another teacher being stalked by an unbalanced lesbian student. WTF? Who came up with all these weird plot twists? I wonder if in the series finale they will have Saddam Hussein and Osama Bin Linden "pass the Courvoisier" while they fly a Concorde into the school. The weirdest thing that has ever happened in any school I've attended occurred in junior high when a girl accidentally shot herself in the face/neck right outside my classroom. The sound of the gun discharge didn't resemble those in the movies at all. It sounded more like a firecracker going off. Then I heard the girl's cries. And it was my first day at that school. What a welcome huh? Fortunately, she just missed her jugular so she survived. I think.

Lord, I was complaining about a show, how did I get side-tracked again? Ok, anyways the second ad was for Married by America, which is a show that really pisses me off and makes me even more cynical, even more than Are You Hot. I'm not pissed off because I have some hoary, puritan "traditional family values." I'm pissed off because there are gay couples in this country who have fought for years to gain official recognition of their matrimony and so far they have succeeded in only one state, Vermont, if I remember correctly. So I see these people who have never met each other getting hitched on TV (well, actually I've never watched the show) while I continue to read about gays and lesbians who cannot receive health benefits from their spouses' employers because they are not considered legally married even though they have lived together for many years. Then there are all these court verdicts that declare gay couples unfit to adopt children because of their lifestyle, so you have thousands of kids who are shuffled around from foster home to abusive foster home. Talk about a fucking double standard.

A Military Caste?

Ha, after seeing interviews with poorer rurual families of those soldiers killed or captured in the war, I knew the Times would come out with a great article on the racial/economic composition of the military:

Lori Luckey, 24, a single mother of three girls, said the main reasons she signed up for the Marines were to get a chance at a career and the opportunity for advancement, to see the world, and to obtain a dental plan and other benefits.

Jonathan Lewis, 18, who said he enlisted for the benefits, and out of a sense of patriotism, said he figured he had less to fear as a marine in Baghdad than in the streets of Chicago..."Being over in Baghdad, you've got a thousand people 100 percent behind you," he said. "Around here, who says you can't be going to McDonald's and that's it?"
Six Feet Under is Fucking Unreal

Man, I love that show. I was wondering if I should watch a show in which death is such an integral part of the plot when there is so much saturation coverage of the war and its endless devastation and carnage. So glad that I did though. The show actually cheers me up and makes me realize just how wonderful life can be. Maybe I should go out and meet people, instead of sitting in front of my computer, saber rattling with total strangers. Then again, it's cold and pouring outside and I have one more episode to watch before I need to return the disc tomorrow. DAMN YOU CA PEOPLE AND YOUR ENDLESS SUNNY DAYS!!
Cool Animation

Found this little gem at where else but that bastion of liberalism
Picture Descriptions

IMG_0252-0427: pictures of my working environment at Bear Stearns and some other midtown landmarks, i.e. Rockfeller Center. I've moved one floor down so now we all have our own cubicles. I never thought I would be happy to sit in cubicles, but it definitely beats sitting right next to your manager.

IMG_0488-0518: My trip to visit Jason in DC. I call him Chief now because he looks like an Indian chief with his flowing mane, although he's half Arab. He's going to U of MD right now so we took a bunch of pictures on campus. Then, being the aviation dork that he is, he took me to the Smithsonian Aviation and Aeronautics museum.

IMG_0522-0545: Chinese New Year's spent at a family friend's house in Connecticut. Activities include visits to the Yale campus, where Aunt Liu (not really my aunt, more of a respectful title) works; detailed insider's guide to college admissions to Aunt Liu and Uncle Niu, since they have a daughter about to enter the NINTH grade (sigh, pushy Chinese parents); trip to the movie theatre to watch LOTR 2 for the second time with Aunt Liu, who had seen it twice before already, and the daughter, who had seen it THREE times already, at least it was free. Despite my complaining, it was a great trip. I felt so free and alive when I was zipping along on the smooth, wide open highway to their house. It was good visiting them since I hadn't seen them for almost 10 years. I also got to eat lots of tasty Chinese food. The shuttle accident really put a damper on my mood though.

IMG_0562-0573: Trip to the Metropolitan Musuem of Art with Amy, who works at Bear too and helped to hire me. I wasn't really impressed with the Da Vinci exhibit since it was only a collection of half finished sketches. Saw some cool photos though.

IMG_0624-end: Pictures I took on St. Patrick's Day. Tons and tons of revelers, including the cute and drunk girl in IMG_0639, who was loud as hell and threatened to flash the group of police officers in the parade, but unfortunately decided against it. Good for her, bad for the rest of us. I was really fascinated by the IRA guys. I thought IRA is classfied as a terrorist group. Shouldn't those guys be deported or something?

As you can see, I have done some fun things, Sachin. J/K. I'll try to take and post more pictures.
No Sex in the Computer Room

Man, I'm glad there were no perverts like these when I was volunteering at my local Minneapolis Public Libraries branch as an internet tutor.
Laundromat Warning

Saw this sign at the laundromat today:

"Please empty pockets of pencils, pens, hairpins, toolnails, bolts, bullets, money. This article may damage the machine."

And I finally got rid of that awful smell from my shirts!! Well, most of them anyways. There are a couple that need a rewash. The ties still smell like rusty leadpipes even after I hosed them down with plenty of Febreeze. I probably shouldn't have put them in the dryers with Downy. The smell has been baked into the ties now. Looks like I'll be making a trip to the dry cleaners on Monday. Shit.