Saturday, March 08, 2003

GI Jane

Not long after I went back to sleep after my unpleasant dream, I was woken up by my friend Jocelynn. I haven't talked to her since I went back home for Christmas and found out that she joined the Marines after going to the "U". When I think of the Marines, I imagine tough, brawny manly men being dropped off in some god forsakened jungle and slaughtering hapless enemies. I remembered her, however, as this short (but tough), sweet, occasionally excitable Philipino girl at Washburn. Therefore, I was totally shocked.

Anyways, she transferred to a base in Jacksonville, North Carolina for infantry training. Highlights: running with a pouch of grenades, tripping and falling and finally throwing the "motherfucking" things one by one over a wall (apparently, they are pretty heavy); firing .50 cal machine guns into the sea since the bullets are so big and fast that they don't have enough space on the base to actually shoot at an actual target on land; firing M16's and grenade launchers; putting on a full biochemical suit in under 8 minutes.

"No one will actually have time to put this fucking thing on if we really got attacked by WMD's," She said. Apparently, it's called NCB in military jargon, or nuclear, biological, chemical attack. For the soldiers it also stands for NoBodyCares, since you will be dead anyways. She asked her sergeant why they have to get into the fetal position when there is a nuclear attack and was told that they have to save their M16's and gears because those are quite expensive and need to be reused after they are dead. I guess the government knows how to save money.

When I told her that I am anti-war and asked her whether she really does want to go to war, she told me that she is a Marine and has to do what she is told. Her opinions are secondary. "I'm actually really excited to go overseas and be in a real war or else I would be just another weekend warrior in the reserve," she said, "I want to come back with some decorations!!" Even though she is not supposed to be in combat because of her gender, she is in charge of distributing supplies and depending on her unit's needs she may have to be on the battlefield.

Then she told me how weird it was being one of two women in a training class of 30 or 40 people. She gets a lot of cat calls from the guys, which is not surprising since she is pretty damn cute. She said she feels like she's "hot shit" because there are so few women in the Marines and she gets so much attention from the brutes. She doesn't hesitate to be nasty, either. It's really funny how much she's changed since high shcool. Now she swears like a sailor!

Jocelynn will finish her training in 3 weeks and fly back to Minnesota to get her gear, which include her helmet, boots, vest, etc.. Then she will fly to a military base overseas to get ready for the unnecessary but inevitable war. I just hope she won't come back with a Purple Heart.

At some point this morning I snapped out of a bad dream. In it I had a research paper due for a class that I was taking, which did not make a whole lot of sense since I am no longer in school. I no longer remember the topic or the class. All I remember is that sinking, stressed out feeling that shook up me and jolted me awake. I graduated 9 months ago. I should not be still dreaming about things like this. While I was still attending Stanford, when I was back at home during breaks, I always dreamed about flunking my exams or realizing that I forgot to go to finals. Lately, these dreams are not as frequent, maybe once every two months, but they still scare the hell out of me!! Do I have post traumatic stress syndrome? Am I going crazy?

Friday, March 07, 2003

New name
I just thought of a new web mail/AIM screen name, AsianTornado. Hmm, I wonder if it's taken already.

Thursday, March 06, 2003

Kick ass posters

Looks like I will finally have some cool new posters to decorate my barren walls. Now my apartment will look like a liberal haven.

If you are bored

Choose your gender:
Crazy People on the Train

One of the best things about living in New York is the subway system, at least when it's running smoothly. Here everyone takes the subway because it's pretty cheap and there is always a train station a few blocks away from any given location in the city.

One of the best things about taking the subway is the people-watching. I have seen people from all races, economic class and age groups. Even the mayor takes the subway to work. There are always beautiful girls to ogle, clueless tourists to laugh at (although I belonged to this category not so long ago and still feel like one sometimes), and musical performances to enjoy, at least when you have more freedom to decide whether to pay them or not, as opposed to feeling like you are being forced to pay when you can't avoid them because they are on the same train with you.

Of course, there are also crazy people that I would not rather meet. They are either mentally ill and talk to themselves or they are zealous Christians looking to preach and admonish and convert those who would rather be left alone, like me. I meet someone like that everyday. On the way to work this morning, there was a big black guy with a booming voice who went on and on about God. He was talking about how our self worth is tied to our jobs, saying that we are not bankers, lawyers, "IBM operators," etc. "That's not who you ARE, that's what you Do," He exhorted, "What are you if you lose your job?" I came THIS close to responding with "I would be poor and have to preach on a train." Then he was talking about how we shouldn't be afraid of anything because God loves us. "What are you afraid of?" He asked. I wanted to say, "a big black dude screaming at me on the train." Then he started singing. Let's just say he wouldn't fare well on American Idol. I wish Christianity isn't so focused on evangelism and proselytizing so I don't have to deal with these people on a daily basis. I'm just glad there weren't any crazy Catholics trying to smear ash on my forehead yesterday :-)

I think the method of transportation has been one of the most significant differences between living in CA and NYC. Here I'm forced to be with some people that I would never see at work or school. In CA, I just jump in my car and drive to wherever I need to go. It's been a mixed blessing taking the train.

Wednesday, March 05, 2003


Out of all the great shows on Comedy Central, I have always loved the Daily Show the most, but I think Chappelle's Show has finally replaced it as the funniest show on all of television now, at least for me. It's at 10:30 pm every Wednesday. It makes fun of black people, white people, gay people, everybody. It's more gutsy than any other show I have seen on TV. And it's just unbelievably funny. Tonight's sketches include alternate endings to popluar movies, Wu-Tang Financial Services, Jedi molestation scandal. Last week there was a Real World spoof in which a white boy was sent to live with a house of crazy black people.

West coast people, you can still catch the show tonight!! It's not too late
Small world

While talking to the girl sitting in the cubicle across from me, I found out that her best friend is the older sister of Liz, who I knew from Toyon during my sophomore year. Apparently, they went to high school together. Wow, that almost defies the laws of probability.
Gotta Love Them Sassy NYC Girls

Boy loves girl. Boy loves another girl, too. Girls discover boy is two-timing. Girls gather girlfriends. Girls attempt to beat up boy. Boy escapes in car. Girls discover car. Girls destroy car.

Tuesday, March 04, 2003

IM Conversation of the Day

[20:06:11] gfunknation: i was bashing PETA [People for the Ethical Treament of Animals] for my blog
[20:06:22] pompey49: is your email
[20:06:48] gfunknation: no
[20:06:49] pompey49: oh no
[20:06:51] pompey49: what?
[20:06:52] pompey49: it's not??
[20:06:53] gfunknation:
[20:06:56] gfunknation: why?
[20:06:56] pompey49: DARN IT
[20:07:05] pompey49: i so put down that email on all the organizations at the animal rights conference
[20:07:10] pompey49: to send all their progaganda to
[20:07:11] gfunknation: haha!!
[20:07:12] pompey49: nooooo
[20:07:17] gfunknation: hahaahahahahahahahahahaha!
[20:07:21] pompey49: gosh darn it all!
[20:07:22] gfunknation: i love you
[20:07:23] gfunknation: rita
[20:07:25] gfunknation: marry me
[20:07:28] pompey49: darn it
[20:07:31] gfunknation: marry me
[20:07:31] pompey49: that was going to be so funny
[20:07:41] pompey49: haha
[20:07:51] gfunknation: i'm ordering the ring online right now
[20:07:57] pompey49: haha
[20:07:58] gfunknation: will fedex it to you overnight
[20:08:05] gfunknation: i think i can get free shipping too
Zanny Workplace

Everyday I pass by the cubicle of some Asian guy whose name is L. Bondy, which really reminds me of Al Bundy, the patriach of my favorite sitcom family of all time. Man, I love that show. I have probably seen every single episode of Married With Children.

I also notice a portly Asian programmer who has a new Winamp skin every day, featuring half-naked anime chicks. Sigh, such is the life of Asian techies.
Creative editing
Lovely little poem found in Shilpa's AIM profile:

"just you and me
on this island of hope
a breath between us could be miles
let me surround you
my sea to your shore
let me be the calm you seek
oh and every time I'm close to you
there's too much I can't say
and you just walk away
and I forgot
to tell you
I love you
and the night's
too long
and cold here
without you
I grieve in my condition
for I cannot find the strength to say I need you so"

A little change never hurts:

"just you and me
on this island of despair
a furtive glance between us could be miles
let me escape you
my boat to your sea
let me be the prey you seek
oh and every time I'm close to you
there's too much I can't say
because I have to run away
and I forgot
to tell you
I hate you
and the night's
too long
and cold here
with you
I revel in my condition
for I can find the strength to say I don't need you so"

Monday, March 03, 2003

Terrible headline
"Lost your interest in sex?" was the headline for an article I found on Hmmm, I thought their target audience was young people. Maybe not.

Sunday, March 02, 2003

Oompa Loompa WIMPUS

My friend Sachin has written a really cool program for the Mac called Wimpus, which acts like a TiVo for internet radio stations. I haven't tried it out yet because I don't have access to a Mac but it's been getting rave reviews from the Mac community. Basically, it allows a user to specify what kind of music he/she likes and a limit on the amount of music to download. Then it goes to work and gathers music for you while you sleep, eat or go to the bathroom. You can discover all kind of new bands that you never heard of. Give it a try!!
Acting Aspirations

I just finished watching Ben Hur on the Turner Classic Movies channel, which is showing Oscar-winning/nominated movies 24/7 for the month of March. Quality movie on a quality network. Man, they don't make epics like Ben Hur anymore. Now, it's all computer generated scenery and people and ghouls. And no Jesus cameos.

Anyways, I wish I can be an extra in some of these movies. It would be so much fun!! No need to memorize any lines or look good. I can just be a leper that is covered head to toe with rags, or some sweaty slave rowing the galley and gets whipped because he asks for a bathroom break. Actually, how did they handle that in ancient times? What if they have to go in the middle of a battle? Hmmm, I wonder if historians have done much research on this aspect of warfare. Also, I can be one of those stereotypical paranoid people running around in a mob and stone lepers or burn witches. Or better yet a looter who runs around breaking windows and cars. Or run around screaming with my hair on fire before I get stepped on by Godzilla. The possibilities are endless.
Greatest Band Name Ever

During a commercial break for The Shawshank Redemption, an informercial came on for the "Gospel Blockbusters" album from Time Life. One of the songs was by a band called Gospel Gangstaz. I guess they will bust a cap in your ass for the Lord.

Speaking of kicking ass for the Lord, there was a Ninja priest who killed zombies in Dead Alive, the goriest movie I have ever seen. Imagine someone strapping the base of a lawnmower to himself and walking through a crowd of bloodthirsty zombies. Interestingly enough, the director was Peter Jackson, the helmer behind the Lord of the Rings trilogy.

Woohoo!! I finally got the box of food that laoma ("old mom") and laoba ("old dad") sent out last week. Laoba got last Monday off from work because it was his birthday. Since Laoma works at the same research institute and the institute gives employees days off for their spouses' birthdays as well, she got the day off too.

And what did they do with their day off? THEY MADE FOOD. FOR MY SISTER AND ME!!! All kind of goodies, from baozi (pork-stuffed buns) to dumplings to big pancakes to pork chops. They even sent me some chopped squid and sea cucumbers!! And they expect me too make chicken soup with the sea cucumbers. Hehe, I will try my best I guess.

I don't think I will have to cook at all next week since they sent me 27 pounds of food :-)

Because my guilt meter shot through the roof when I found out that they were cooking for me on his bday, I ordered them a super sweet DVD player. Since it has a 5-disc changer, laoma will be able to watch terrible Chinese soap operas all night without changing discs. Hmm, maybe it's not such a good idea after all. We almost never celebrate birthdays since it was never that big of a deal in Chinese culture, at least for people unde 60, before all this westernization took place. But I guess the parents more than deserved it.