Before my roommate left for CA to visit his sister, he handed me a nicely wrapped Christmas present. As soon as I saw it, I thought of the time he gave me that box of Trojan Extended Pleasure condoms he picked up from some party as a joke. I think it's the same brand that got Larry David in trouble with his wife in that episode of "Curb Your Enthusiasm" in which he put the condom on inside out and caused Cheryl some uncomfortable numbness in her nether region.
Anyways, I ripped off the wrapping paper to find the most ingenious, hilarious present I've ever gotten from anyone: a book entitled
"How to Date a White Woman: A Practical Guide for Asian Men." While I was cracking up, my roommate, who's Korean, said, "I was going to pick it up for myself a while ago, but I think you need it more now." His white girlfriend joked, "You might need that book yourself soon."
This book presents quite a dilemma for me because I can't just throw it away since I never throw any present away no matter how crappy it is because it's the thought that counts, right? Of course, there is no way I'm going to put it on my bookshelf next to "Running With Scissors" or "Down and Out in Paris and London." I guess I will just leave it on the TV for now.
I skimmed the first few chapters out of morbid curiosity and found the content and grammar to be, quite frankly, totally wanting. Even though I can be somewhat of a stickler for grammar, Mr. Quan could have used an editor. Maybe even one of those white chicks he dated.
Now I need to think of something to give to my roommate. But how will I be able to top "How to Date a White Woman"? Is it even possible?
Also, because I looked up this book on Amazon to read the user reviews, now I get the following recommendations on "The Page You Made": "How to Date an Exotic Dancer," "The Complete A**hole's Guide to Handling Chicks," "How to Attract Asian Women," and my all-time favorite: "The System: How to Get Laid Today!"
